What it is?

One of my friend got engaged recently, I called her up to congratulate and asked her in more of a teasing tone So Love or Arranged?

And she said…. Love hi samaj le (Assume it to be Love....)

I asked… samaj le!! What do you mean by that ?
She said: we are spending about 16-18hrs daily since last 1 year in office together and just we two being the team member, we usually ended up to each other for some or the other problem. My family was forcing me to get marry, and so I discussed this with him. We were just chatting when I said to him – I don’t understand the need of getting married. I spent time with you and it would continue the same way. And if just being together is what marriage is, what if we tie a knot?Then He gave a thought to this and I conveyed the same to my family and we’re getting engaged. !!!!!

I was more of shocked!!!

Dil hain ki manta nahi, Bunty Aur Bubbly, Hum-Dum and many more movies…!!!! Gals and boys meet, spent time together and fall in love and decide to marry. Infact Hum-Dum was based on this simple fact a girl and a boy have to spent time with each other for 6 months and then have to decide if wanna get married or be separated. If they separate out, they win a lump some amount of money and are restricted to meet in future for about 9 years. And if they fall in love they could marry each other and live happily. And a girl and boy join the show to earn money but somehow fall in love with each other.

Yup, there is always some frequency matching which does comes into picture but the love is not “ love at first sight kind of” or when you meet a person and you have a crush on, or you like some attributes of a person. It’s merely a mutual contract between two people.

We are spending time with each other, and there is nothing wrong if we continue doing this in future with a LEGAL STAMP irrespective of we are having a nice time or not!!!

Could it be an individual’s insecurity?

What if I’m not able to adjust with someone else? What if someone else dumps me? What if …………??

Don’t know what it is!!!

Mutual agreement? Marriage? Or just mode of spending time….??

Keep Faith
Chakoli :)


CM-Chap said...

Sorry... I didnt understand.. Blame my poor hindi.

Whr r u these days? mail me

Solitaire said...

I think "falling in love" and "love at first sight" and all that is too filmi and teeny bopperish. What used to happen in our grandparent's era? Mutual contract between the families right? Now its just an evolution of that. Mutual contract between the two actual people involved.

Chakoli said...


May be its fimly:))

But comparison with older days... idont think so, could be realistic... earlier people were pateint, adjusting, no arguements,... no bllah blah...and many more...today people are just opposite...

How could then comparison be made?

Chakoli said...

@Cm-chap :))

i m very much here...:-)))

sure wud do :)

Keshi said...

to ppl like ur friend, Marriage is an OBLIGATION.

Im not surprised. Cos I've seen alot of ppl do that.


Anonymous said...

Marriage is a legal entity to make oneself responsible towards him/her and towards others(kids)...

Anonymous said...

this happens mate and trust me this marriages go long way :)

~mE said...

Congrats to your friend.

But i think its much more than that. I am sure she would have thought through much more deeply than she made it sound.

Well ya, if you are spending 3/4 of a day everyday for the last one year with someone I am sure there must be some comfort level between them to have taken this step..:)

so i guess its all well :))

What scares me is the internet marriage..A friend met a guy online saw him once and immediately got married..they are happy, yes ofcourse a few problems here and there.. but it scares the shit out of me.

Ankur said...

btw... HUM-DUM is which movie????
lagta hai ur new directorial venture!! :P

well, she has taken wise decision wat i must say!! :)


Visitlife said...

Hey chakoli,
Ur frnd has done a thing she felt is right and I feel atleast its better than arrainge marraige bcos thr also u have to try to fall in love so why not try it with somebody you like

Homecooked said...

Wow....your friend asked the boy! Great yaa! I think people should get married only if they can see themselves with each other in the future. I mean if they will be ready to stay with them if either of them puts on weight, loses weight etc. Falling in love is easy but maintaining that isn't.

Chakoli said...


yup very true..
dont know what force them to do this...:((

Chakoli said...


thanks for the definition :)))

Chakoli said...



seems some expereince u already have lol...

jus kidding re:))

Chakoli said...


those are worst ...online frdship and marriage....

ahhhhh...hw cud one even think ot it...:((

Chakoli said...

@Ankur :)

HUM-DUM was a movie.... i did posted its link with the name...chk it out...why I wud go fr directorial debut...wud rather prefer to play a vamp ;))

Chakoli said...


Agreed...d ear to what u said...!!!

but somehw its shocking to me..
its nt always necessary taht soemone whom u meet...u wud fall in love with him ??

Chakoli said...


loved the last line...

Agreed...maintaing and continuing the same love... is difficult :))

Anonymous said...

i see her logic... but then... is it that she jus wanna spend time with him? because she does that already?

It is complicated.. i m sure.. there has to certain amount of lov, mutual compatibility and well a lil amount of comfort wen u r around that person... but then we have all this with friends too...but we dnt marry our friends do we?!

God! I m so confused... so wen do u knw that this guy is the guy i get married to? he is a friend a colleague...and now a hubby too...wow!!

and welll she jus sounds like she is movin into a hostel with a new roomie :D

niceguy251 said...


I did not give comments without link or url. What I need to know is that how do I give comment on Blog which has only Google/Bloger as link. There are couple of blogs where I wish to post comments.

Now for this one : Marriage is a very solemn affair. It is an union of two individuals in all ways of life. It also unites two families. Boys or girls have equal right to choose their partner for life. It is helpful if they know each other for sometime before getting married but it is not sureshot way for successful marriage. It is only once you live together 7 X 24 you get to know each other. So both have to go in with an open mind to see that there is lapse from his or her side. There will always be differences but these are to be sorted out with proper 2 way communication without losing tempers. Omg it has become more of a sermon.

Take care

Chakoli said...


LOL..on last line:))

yup...marriage is a thing where u can share ur bed with ur enemy ;))

It seems... marriage fever fr u is full ON ;))

Chakoli said...


Ohhh that way... u cant post comments...as they dont allow annonymous comments :(((

Thats user choice :))

Nopes that wasnt a sermon :))

but ur views and done beuatifully:))

Amit 2.0 said...

hi . ..
Well my manager doesnt take chances of having a girl in my team :)..
but seemed fair enough to me, if ur friend is comfortable with him and have agreed to marry him , there should have been reasons for it.. no doubt it doesnt sound morantic.. :)
and i think all one should look for is a friend for life...

and i guess u posted and deleted a post on cycling... saved it for tomorrow i guess.. .
Well good timing .. I was already planning to buy one once i am back .

Reema said...

Hum dum?? Never seen it. Is it good?
As for the case, its like a safe bet. After all marriage is a gamble. So when its a known person the fear isnt there. A marriage of convenience.

KP! said...

congrats to ur friend:).
one should always do whatever they feel its right for them!

its interesting how this case would not fit in typical category of arrange or love marriage.

i wonder how would it be for them once they are married, what if they dont agree on something at work...it will definately affect their personal life as well.

Anonymous said...

What with the new trends of low boredom threshold and rapidly changing lifestyles... what you may find as superb may be just another thing tomorrow... it "may" happen in marriage at times too... marriage is not just being with each other, it is being for each other... unless this is understood properly, no marriage can be a happy one...

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